ADHD Jokes

Here are 2 classics for a person with ADD or ADHD:

I stopped to think, and forgot to start again.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

 

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Some Great Things About Having ADHD:

  • Can meet someone, fall deeply in love, marry, fight, hate, and divorce,
    all in about 35 minutes or less.

  • Can see all of your worldly possessions at one time...because they
    are all over the floor

  • Make far reaching analogies that no one else understands. Write
    them off as "Deep Thoughts"

  • The mind of a Pentium--with only 2 Megs of RAM

  • Able to tie seemingly unrelated ideas together

  • Qualifyfor bulk rate mail on tax returns because you have at least 24
    W-2's attached.

  • Honestly believes that anything is possible

  • Willing to "step out on faith"

  • A greater tolerance for "Chaos"

  • Proviedes job security for writers of Spell Check programs

 

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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any
loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

 

 

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping,"
Today, I just "chunky dunked."

 

 

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

 

 

If raising children was going to be easy, it would never have started with

something called labor.

 

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A Different Kind of Prayer:

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the "jerk" who cut us off in
traffic last night, is a single mother with ADD who worked nine hours
that day and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework,
do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

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In the 60's , people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

When everything is coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

 

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

 

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we
can spare.And in return, dogs give us their all.
It's the best deal man has ever made. M. Facklam

 

Women and cats will do as they please,
And men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. RobertHeinlein

 

The best way to stop an argument is to agree with the other person.

 

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
Lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, where they
set up their tent, and are asleep.
Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.
"Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asked the Lone Ranger.
Tonto ponders for a minute:
"Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
"What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"
The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then he speaks:
"Tonto, you Dummy, someone has stolen our tent."

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